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Joke of the Day

"Watching Mickey's Clubhouse with my 4yo and even he's asking why the hell would a duck like Donald need a life jacket."

"kids telling dirty jokes http://www.vice.com/series/kids-telling-dirty-jokes best. shit. ever."

"I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers."

"Why do white girls always travel in odd number packs? They can't even"

"Ordering a cake over the phone ""And what would you like the cake to say?"" [covers phone to ask wife] ""Honey, do we want a talking cake?"""

"I always wanted to be just like Flo Rida. That's why I changed my name to ""New Ham Sure"""

"I requested the number 867-5309 from my cellular provider because I like being annoyed to the point of rage."

"Why is Kfc always out of toilet paper? Because it is Finger Lickin' Good."

"How do you defeat your enemies? Chop off their feet."

"upon my death: 1. tell my kids I loved them 2. give my daughter my jewelry 3. leave french fries in my coffin, just in case"