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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dog with no legs It doesn't matter. He won't come anyway."

"When the window fell into the incinerator, it was a pane in the ash to retrieve."

"What did grandma say to grandpa while in bed? Keep it up!"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking. JK Rowling."

"I'm half-French and half-American, but I know my heart is American, do you know why? Because if it were French it would stop working!"

"Tater Tots are chewed up French Fries"

"Just before I die, I'm going to change my name to OFF'. That way, when the hearse is driving to the church, it will have displayed on top of my coffin in flowers: R.I.P. OFF"

"Just a heads up guys, M. Night Shyamalan dug a hole in my backyard and has been filming Mark Wahlberg yelling at it for 6 months now."

"My teacher in first grade said I was stupid for ""wanting to be a T-Rex"" when I grew up but she died last year so who's the stupid one now?"

"Why are sharts always a surprise? Because you can never see that shit coming."