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Joke of the Day

"*84th flr* CW: You look sad, can I cheer you up? M: Heard Van Halen's ""Jump""? CW: Sure! Me: Jump out that window and sing it on the way down"

"Mum I found Dad Haven't I told you to stop making holes in the garden?"

"A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy walk into a bar Bartender looks up and says ""get the fuck out of here"""

"People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking."

"I got in touch with my inner self today. I'm never using cheap toilet paper again."

"Cosby/Fogle for President! Americans can forget the last 8 years happened and feel like kids again."

"Observational humor isn't funny See?"

"Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro."

"Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: They've been having turkey for years."

"How did Helen Keller learn to masturbate? She was reading her lips."