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Joke of the Day

"Amish murderers get the acoustic chair."

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"Where does Putin negotiate? The Crimea River"
"Why do chat fail always look fake Because they are"
"Friends are like steaks If you grill them for long enough, they become rare"
"Why was Twelve running from Seven? Because Seven had a fucking rocket launcher!"
"I generally don't trim my ear hair until it effects my peripheral vision."
"Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because his mother was in a jam."
"Let's count to 10.000"
"As soon as my daughter realizes Jamacians, Irish, & wizards don't all have the same accent, I'm probably going to get fired from storytime."
"Rumors. Well at least you're spreading something else besides your legs."