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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dead blow fish? .. A blew fish."

"I like to have a glass of water around to make sure there aren't any dinosaurs approaching."

"How do landscapers keep their seams from ripping? Well let me tell you; They don't beat around the bush! They nip it in the bud and use Hem-Lock!"

"ME: i'd like to get rid of all this PERSONAL TRAINER: you're just making like one sweeping gesture around your entire body ME: and my head"

"I've always wondered what lice do to you It's a real head scratcher"

"""The powder | ""The pow| ""The power | ""The power of Cheese | ""The power of Ch| ""The power of Christ compels you!"" - The AutocorrExorcist"

"I used to play football for Jerry Sandusky. I started out as a tight end but finished the season as a wide receiver."

"When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight ? When they had lots of sleepless knights !"

"The Samsung Galaxy S7 walks into a bar... But it isn't waterproof so it breaks."

"My friends were deciding how much alcohol to get... One of them wanted one fifth and another one wanted to get five fifths. We decided on a 3/5ths compromise."