166446

Joke of the Day

"How much for the Ice Cream Scoop? Ma'am, that's a Shovel."

"MOOF What goes moof? A cow with buck teeth."

"Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her a month to realize she could play it at night..."

"What is a grape without 'g'? It's still a grape, just without gravity."

"What does an omnipotent God do with his penis? Fuck all."

"People always tell me not to piss in the shower... ...but you know, it's difficult not to when you're taking a shit"

"remember teens: even Jesus once logged off for 3 days"

"[2 Humans who definitely aren't lizard people at Denny's] 1: I sure am glad they don't have newt brain on the menu 2: Right on, fellow human"

"Why shouldn't you listen to people who have just come out of the swimming pool? Because they are all wet."

"Don't bother entering the sail-raising contest at the boat club. It's rigged."