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Joke of the Day

"I'm on the snake diet. It's the one where you lie on the floor all day, eat 25% of your body weight, and hiss at anyone who comes near you."

"Is it true that Martha Washington had wooden boobs?"

"Girls are like league of legends You put in time and money just to get fucked"

"Why did they hire the police department to design a new superconductor? ""STOP RESISTING!!!"""

"The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it's like excuse me, I'm working here."

"What do you call a Japanese suicide bomber? Wasabi"

"""Hey Fred"" Yeah Barney? ""The Bee Gees have no hot chicks in the band"" Yeah but ABBA do!"

"I heard this song by the Righteous Brothers I cant remember what its called, but it was off the chain"

"Did you know that Lorena Bobbit was originally from Russia? Her given name was Lorena Cutyourcockoff."

"Five out of six people are okay with Russian Roulette... ... The sixth one loves it to death."