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Joke of the Day

"What's black and never works? Decaf coffee."

"Hey, your parents conceived you the same year my parents conceived me, let us be friends! High school is stupid."

"The population of Hidden Valley must be nothing but chubby sorority girls on their periods."

"[Target cashier stares at my fingerless gloves] Ah, couldn't help notice you were admiring my hand vests."

"What's the difference between you and Bear Grylls? You'd get fired if you drank piss at work."

"What did Nazis do to kids with ADHD/ADD? They sent them to concentration camps."

"Astronaut Booty Call... Crater My unit would like to explore your crater."

"Why was the chess player pregnant? Because they were mated."

"My strong stance on drinking milk straight from the carton has met with no opposition from people who haven't caught me yet."

"What do you call a Mexican with bullet wounds? Spicoli"