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Joke of the Day

"Why is sperm white? Because it can swim"

"I've been watching the Crime Investigation channel all day. Murder just seems like the easiest way to solve your problems."

"So there I was balls deep in a 12 year old ... Then my dad walks in and freaks out starts screaming ""What the fuck are you doing to your sister"""

"My dog keeps trying to get my attention but until he plays that Sarah McLachlan song I'm not gonna take him seriously."

"Holiday sex is the best sex ever..... That was the hardest postcard from my wife to read!"

"Him: Favorite workout? Me: Pilates. Him: Why? Me: Because we lay down for an hour."

"What did the zoo employee say to the big cat? ""Why you always lion?"""

"Fun fact: Did you know that HIV is Roman for 'high five'? Pass it on - or, rather, don't."

"They are finally letting women go to the ISS About damn time. Some one has to make the men sandwiches up there."

"I only act to support my waitressing career."