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Joke of the Day

"Why did Star Wars episodes 4,5,6 come before 1,2,3? Because in charge of planning, yoda was."

"I used to have a desk with great selfie lighting and then I changed jobs for personal fulfilment. I wouldn't recommend it."

"old one's are the best. that's why i'm barred from the care home."

"Fiance' works at an old folks home and said that they had the heater up to far all day. I guess you can say that she was... Sweating with the Oldies!"

"GUY: are u doing the mannequin challenge? ME: [standing perfectly still w/ awkward facial expression] no this is just how I am around people"

"What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time? He screwed, nutted, and bolted."

"Why do people say,""You can't make this stuff up."" Nope. Not true at all. You can literally make up anything you want anytime."

"Mary: Do you think my sister's pretty ? Gary: Well let's just say if you pulled her pigtail she'd probably say 'oink oink '!"

"When is a rabbi dishonest? July"

"Hey, redditors of Cuba ...oh, my bad."