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Joke of the Day

"Russell Crowe arrested for cannibalism After been asked by the judge did he have any regrets for eating the female victim, Russell shook his head and said he was ""Glad he ate 'er"""

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"What do you call unpredictable nudity? Erratica."
"My friends tell me I'm condescending Condescending is when you talk down to people"
"History teacher: Which period did Cleopatra come from? Me: The one her mother missed?"
"What do planets like read? Comet books! Edit: What do planets like to read?**"
"Did you know that there is a little lonely man inside automatic towel dispensers that gives you a towel because he's happy you waved to him?"
"God damn it! I said ""glass of juice"" not ""gas the jews"". -Hitler"
"Whenever I'm not feeling well, I just imagine Tyrannosaurus Rex masturbating."
"I have the talent of getting tired without doing nothing."
"An 80's style montage of me and a dog learning to use chopsticks, and the dog progressing marginally faster"