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Joke of the Day

"What do planets like read? Comet books! Edit: What do planets like to read?**"

"What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ? Something from another universe -ity !"

"""Oh, look at the moon!"" I've seen the moon. Thanks."

"In the 1970s it was almost impossible to insult someone electronically. Thank god that nightmare is over."

"It's weird that on this date in Back to the Future they didn't show people incessantly posting about Back to the Future."

"I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week."

"What does a chameleon that can't change color suffer from? Reptile disfunction"

"DEODORANT: ugh i hate my job, gotta go in his gross armpit all the time TOILET PAPER: bro"

"""Sure, you can wear shorts to preschool today."" -the reason I am sleeping on the couch right now"

"MUST HAVE BEFORE WATCHING THE CONJURING : - Bible - iBible iPhone app - Holy Water - Priest - Jesus - 5 Jesus necklaces - Holy Spirt"