165850

Joke of the Day

"oops i queefed"

"How do you call a blond who has colored her hair to brown? Artificial intelligence!"

"C-sections are like the Digiorno of pregnancy..... It isn't delivery, but it still tastes like one."

"So a father comes into his sons room.. And asks him: How are you? His son then answers: I'm fine thanks."

"I hate using a plunger... they work the shit out of me."

"NSFW Your dick's like Mt. Everest It's hard to get up."

"What does a shooting star say to his buddy before he dies? ""Meet me - oh, right.."""

"I'm sorry I ran over your dog but in my defense I was texting! You're being awfully judgemental for someone who can't even see."

"A man calls in sick... ""It's my eyes,"" he says. ""What's wrong with them?"" his boss asks. ""I just can't see myself coming to work today."""

"I had a normal childhood My mom only jerked me off once when I broke my arm, no more than that!"