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Joke of the Day

"I went to an orgy... And all I got was this cummy t-shirt."

"Down a flight of stairs. That's how I roll. :("

"My wedding vows said ""till death do us part."" My wife died, so I was a free man. Then she came back and bit me."

"THE HUMAN BODY 12 Wildly inconsistent design. Leaks fluids. Zero protection from drop damage. Can be killed by bees/peanuts. NOT RECOMMENDED"

"I'm not bad with names, it's just that you leave absolutely no impression on people."

"Pointed out my kids real dad to them at the car wash today. None of us are sure if I'm kidding."

"I just went to a very emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers."

"what happened when the blond tried giving her boyfriend a blowjob while he was driving? they both fell off the motorcycle"

"I swear I won't be undressing you with my eyes again. That REALLY hurt!"

"Someone stole all the toilets from Scotland Yard Police have nothing to go on."