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Joke of the Day

"My 4yr old daughter just charged me $47 for a fake cake she cooked in her pretend oven. I laughed. ... She stared at me until I paid her."

"What do you call an agnostic? An athe-ish."

"I quit my job as a coffee shop manager The daily grind was just too much"

"I've just bought a film on DVD about a prisoner that finally gets parole. I've waited years for it to be released."

"[Comes home and wife is laying in bed with Another Man] ""Hey"" Hi ""Can I ask you something?"" Yup ""Why'd you name the dog 'Another Man' babe?"""

"right-to-die In a right-to-die state the executor has two duties. ""executor"" and ""executor"""

"What's white and smells like black paint? White paint"

"Q: What did the blonde say about blonde jokes? A: She said they were pretty good but they might offend some Puerto Ricans."

"get away from the tree Dad: get away from that tree son! Son: why dad? Dad: it looks shady"

"Why are you all so excited it's Friday? Monday will be here in 5 minutes."