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Joke of the Day

"Don't hand out condoms to high school students. Take away their deodorant and toothbrush. That'll cut down teen pregnancy"

"Over all these years, you'd think I'd remember how important the ""L"" in clock is...especially when asking mom if I can borrow dad's."

"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected."

"Have you ever been in a Schindler's Lift? If you have, then did you ever feel that it could have carried more people?"

"How am I supposed to show a girl I like her, if I can't even make her a mix tape anymore?"

"I have a fear of two-letter words I get scared just thinking about it"

"Did you hear about the the leper hockey game? There was a face off in the corner."

"Body Glitter: For the girl who wants to leave a sparkling trail of daddy issues everywhere she goes"

"If dogs can eat raw chicken, so can I. - dead people"

"What does American beer and sex on a boat have in common? They're both fucking close to water"