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Joke of the Day
"The real reason Darth Vader cut off Luke's hand was because he touched the thermostat"
Next Joke
"- You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma'am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?"
"A study was just published that shark attacks happen most often in water. Now I have to worry about the ones that occur elsewhere."
"""Pick a card....any card."" -impatient Hallmark employee"
"So i brought home a piece of furniture last night... but it left in the morning without saying a word. It was one nightstand."
"My internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible..."
"9 out of 10 depressed people are not positive thinkers."
"It is not ok to joke about menstruation. Period."
"What's green and smells like pork? Kermits finger"
"[NSFW] Who did the gay porn actor thank when he got an award? His penis for all the shit I went through and all his ass for all the dicks it dealt with."