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Joke of the Day

"If you're feeling lonely, dim the lights and watch a good horror movie. By the end of it, you won't feel like you're alone anymore."

"PLEASE LEAVE CHRIS BROWN ALONE, in the woods, surrounded by a pack of wolves."

"Come to the dark side.... we don't pay our electric bill."

"Mercury has a harsh climate, as the day time temperature is 430 degrees Celcius. At night however, it freezes to -170 degrees Celcius. First world problems."

"If your mother in law and your father in law were both engulfed in flames, and you only had one fire extinguisher, where would you hide it?"

"What is called when an insurance company assesses a totaled car? An auto-topsy"

"What did little Paul Bunyan say when his mom asked him how he damaged his favorite toy? It was an ax-I-dent."

"Why do we use whiteboards instead of blackboards? Because black boards matter."

"You know, they're making the prospective Mars astronauts shave their whole bodies prior to departure. That way, when it's time for blastoff... they'll baldly go where no man has gone before."

"If a crocodile makes shoes what does a banana make ? Slippers !"