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Joke of the Day

"When I asked for screenshots, I meant using the PRT SCR button, not shaky pictures of the screen with your phone, you idiot."

"Went to my daughters netball match this weekend What a semi"

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye, Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler."

"What's the difference between a Porsche and a KIA? Paul Walker wouldn't be caught dead in a KIA."

"How does the Catholic Church make their holy water? They boil the hell out of it."

"Locked myself out of my office 3 times today if anyone's looking for a responsible adult"

"Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked."

"To a lot of Americans these days, Donald Trump is just starting to sound like a lot of white noise."

"We're probably less than 20 years away from the first president to wear skinny jeans."

"Knock, knock..........Goliath Knock, knock. Who's there? Goliath. Goliath who? Goliath down -- you looketh tired"