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Joke of the Day

"me: did you check the suggestion box boss: we don't have a suggestion box we have a paper shredder me: MY DRAWINGS"

"Russian Porn Doesn't it get you soviet?"

"What does a chemist say when he's pouring water into an acid? Drop the base."

"I'm against the marriage of anyone whose first instinct is to film and then show the world their elaborate proposal."

"How I met your father announced. Starring me and your mom."

"I haven't spoken to my girlfriend in months. I don't want to interrupt her."

"So Zayn quit the band? His life is obviously taking on a new direction..."

"A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""

"Why did the Cook cross the road? because there were ""Too Many Cooks""."

"Frankly auto correct, I'm getting really tired of your shirt."