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Joke of the Day
"I'm ""the VCR was heavy enough to bludgeon a large farm animal"" years old"
Next Joke
"No, No, people. It's okay. I can make racist jokes. One of my best friends is a racist."
"[diet journal] day 1: hungry day 2: hungry day 3: hungry day 4: ate neighbor"
"Did you hear about that guy who said 'that's' like 'dat's'? Instead of saying that's mine, he said dat's mine."
"Are one-liners accepted? I immediately stopped telling people I was xenophobic when I realized it doesn't mean ""afraid of xenomorphs""."
"Why do people prefer shooting stars to vegetables? Because they're meteor"
"I got married to an antenna... The wedding was ok, but the reception was awesome!"
"Perverts and dogwalkers are the only people who go through life excited for someone else to take a dump."
"[Interviewing to be a mortician] Do you have any experience handling dead bodies? -Well I get my sleepy kids ready for school every day."
"What is the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? Its asshole."