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Joke of the Day

"I just fired my liquid measurement calibration manager He had really poor litership skills."

"How do you know when your vegetables are boiled? Their wheelchair floats to the top."

"What do you call it when a sewer collapses on itself? Sewercide"

"why did the hipster burn his tounge? because he ate the pizza before it was cool."

"I hate how politically correct we have become as a society ... You can't even say black paint anymore. Now you have to say, ""Jamal kindly paint my house?"""

"What do you call an std that only reptiles can get? Gatoraids."

"My wife has to be the worst cook. Her specialty is indigestion."

"I tried to sell Ikea my new range of combat furniture. It wasn't going well, so I decided to chair the meeting. A couple of minutes later, it was all-out wardrobe."

"Whats the difference between the FAA and a jet engine? The engine stops whining after the plane lands."

"Before Batgirl can become Batwoman she has to have a Batmitzvah."