165217
Joke of the Day
"What do you call a doctor who is always on a phone? An oncologist"
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the new wine that the Taliban is selling in the US to help fund its war efforts? They call it ""White Infidel."""
"What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a scottish shepard? One says "" Hey you get off my cloud"", and the other says ""Hey McCloud get off my ewe!"""
"[teenage girl reading horoscope tweets] ""Gemini's go to sleep when they are tired"" HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO ME"
"It's not the cat wearing my pants without permission that pisses me off. It's that he looks better in them than I do."
"Chuck Norris is a creative kind of guy... Chuck Norris is a creative kind of guy, the last time he farted it was quite a big deal. Scientifically speaking, they call it the big bang."
"It's cute how the news wants me to stick around until 11 for the forecast. As if I didn't have 17 other ways to get that info in seconds."
"If you have to do more than 3 takes when taking a picture of yourself, it's not the angle or the lighting. It's you. You're ugly."
"What do Africans eat for breakfast? Ebola cereal"
"looking for roommate, utilities included. if you're taller than me, i get to ride your shoulders when we are in the same room. no exceptions"