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Joke of the Day

"Shit happens, I mean, look at your face."

"My dog eats his puke and dirty tissues... but I point him to a mushroom I dropped and he gives me the ""what is this shit"" look."

"My boss accused me of having OCD... I soon put him in his place."

"""Dora"" only rhymes with ""Explorer"" if you're from Long Island, New York"

"What do you call an epileptic puppy? Kibbles 'n Fits."

"If I were a woman, I'd probably say things like ""gotta go polish the petunia"" and then back my car into a mailbox."

"Vodka isn't the answer to my problems but its worth a shot"

"Today I saw ""Jesus doesn't care about your grades"" written on the sidewalk in chalk and all I could think was ""Thank god, he'd be pissed"""

"My friend is a German butcher He always tells me the wurst jokes."

"True friends don't judge each other. They judge other people.. together."