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Joke of the Day

"I gave away all my dead batteries recently... ... free of charge, of course."

"I had sex with a girl and she kept shouting another guys name Who the fuck is rape?"

"I respected tiger sharks a lot more after I realized how many hurdles tigers and sharks had to overcome to breed with each other."

"honey, i think the milk's gone bad ""i only bought it yesterday"" yeah well, look at this.. *milk is running a meth lab in the fridge*"

"Til, We are Homo Sapiens at school, And said that my mother. She wished My father was still Homo Erectus."

"What do you call a hot girl in Germany ? Tourist"

"I just passed my drug test My dealer has some serious explaining to do"

"Why do Marlboro cigarettes have white filters in America, but yellow filters in Europe? So Keith Richards can tell which continent he's in."

"I was talking to my buddy about 50 Shades Of Grey He said ""yeah, my wife and I have been doing S&M for years."" ""Really!"", I said, ""I had no idea!"" ""Sure,"" he said, ""she sleeps and I masturbate!"""

"Woman across from me will NOT shut up about her where she works. Ugh, I hate job interviews."