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Joke of the Day

"Obama has been endorsed by Warren Buffett, Colin Powell, Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates. Romney has been endorsed by Lindsay Lohan."

"[NSFW] What's the difference between a bucket of dead babies and a pile of sex toys? The bucket."

"Why do melons have fancy weddings? Because they cantelope!"

"If the entire observable universe was located inside an impossibly large man named Bob... then 9/11 was inside bob."

"Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix? He was asking for directions."

"Modern music is like taking a poop you like it at first, but then you realize its all shit in the end"

"Son and a Blow Job A man is sitting at home and his son walks in from school. The son says ""Dad! I had my first blow job today!"" And the father says ""really? How was it?"" ""It tasted awful!"""

"What's black and screams like fuck? Stevie Wonder answering the iron."

"I thought it was a staring contest but then I realized the guy had a glass eye so now I can never go back to that gas station again."

"I can always tell what my present is off Iggy Azelea because she's really bad at wrapping."