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Joke of the Day

"My teacher pointed at me with...... My teacher pointed at me with his ruler and said ""at the end of this ruler is and idiot!"" I got detention after I asked him which end he was referring to."

"How to pick up women: 1-approach beautiful lady 2-bend at the knees 3-lift gently 4-oh god she's screaming 5-put her down the cops are here"

"Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets? Because he was on a higher plane."

"What's the worst thing to hear after you have sex with Steve Buscemi? ""I'm not Steve Buscemi."""

"How do u kill a blonde ? Give her a knife and ask her who is the prettiest of all ."

"Me: Bless me father for I have sinned... Priest texting me back: I already told you, I'm not absolving u of your sins unless you come in."

"9 yo: Hey dad, where is the rest of that ladies bikini? Me: That is actually called a G-string, son. 9: Oh, does the ""G"" stand for gross?"

"A man bets his wife that she can't make him happy and mad at the same time She says, ""Your dick is bigger than all your friends' dicks!"""

"My sister's got hay fever, and now she has diabetes. I tried to cheer her up. You know, the usual. Flowers, chocolates"

"Everyone enjoys blonde jokes. Except blondes, they don't get it."