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Joke of the Day
"How did the Vagina want her eggs cooked? Ovaries-y"
Next Joke
"How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer (I heard we're doing pirate jokes today)"
"Whoever left me in charge of my own destiny has a lot of explaining to do."
"I hate all the political correctness in recent years. I can't even say ""black paint"" anymore, I have to say ""hey Jamal, would you please go paint that fence over there?"""
"5: ""Dad, to be the man of the house, you need to wear pants."" Me: ... 5: ... Me: ""It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Job's all yours."""
"I changed my password to ""incorrect"". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say ""Your password is incorrect""."
"""Hey, wait"" - African children watching Gatorade get dumped on a winning coach"
"How do Jewish mothers prevent wrinkles? Oil of Oy Vey."
"""If you're pregnant you can't get pregnant, the same goes for getting arrested, can you lick this?"" I ask, trying to roll a joint in cuffs."
"Why is there no volume control on the microwave? Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza?"