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Joke of the Day

"welcome to Olive Garden! when you're here, you're family. sit up straight. have you gained weight? why can't you be more like your sister"

"Dead scatologists never die They just go through the motions."

"""This race is over,"" said Donald Trump, referring to the entire human race if he is elected president."

"It turns out I'm awesome at sex I come first every time!"

"What did the termite say to the chair? .... It was nice knawing you."

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""KGB"" ""KGB who?"" *slap* ""We will ask questions!"""

"If Watergate happened today it would be called Watergategate."

"A black man, a Muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hello, Mr. President!"" Courtesy of my Fox News-watching mom..."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think R but it's the C he loves!"

"Hey baby I put the sex, in dyslexic ;)"