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Joke of the Day

"I'm 100% straight So straight I don't even like touching my own dick to masturbate. My friend Dave does it for me."

"How to enjoy babies: 1 Hold them 2 Kiss them 3 Hand them back to their mom 4 Go have drinks with grown ups 5 Laugh about not having a baby"

"My neighbor doesn't like it when I put garbage in his backyard so I stopped burying people there."

"What do you get if you cross Socrates with a dentist? A flossopher!"

"What do you call a Blind German? A Not see."

"Kids....because who doesn't enjoy a fun game of ""What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"""

"How do you confuse an idiot? Seven."

"Damn girl, is your dad in jail? Cuz if I was your dad, I'd be in jail."

"Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September people say ""Wow is it Halloween already?"""

"No school tomorrow... Thanks Obama"