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Joke of the Day

"Who is a penguin's favorite relative? His Aunt Arctica"

"What's the best way to work your trapezius muscles? *shrugs*"

"how many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? none. they just beat it for being black!"

"Why do school nurses bring a red crayon to work? So they can draw blood"

"""Damn girl are you a dam, girl? Cuz your water just broke haha"" yes we will go to the hospital in a minute honey, jesus christ im tweeting"

"My wife was preparing to bake bread... I asked what that was she was putting into the mix. She said, ""dill weed"". I said, ""Darling, you know I love your recipes, but I refuse to eat dill dough!""."

"What does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common? Both can smell it but can't eat it."

"How do you make a racing snail faster? I tried taking his shell off but it only made him more sluggish."

"What do you get when OP gets erections? QR"

"Kim and Kanye's baby will probably be delivered by C-Section to avoid getting Chlamydia on the way out..."