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Joke of the Day

"What is a pirates least favorite letter? Dear Sir/Ma'am We are cutting your internet connections for the following reasons: 1. Illegal downloading. Thank you, and have a nice day."

"Yesterday at a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little. ""Nervous?"" asked the interviewer I replied, ""No, I always give 110%"""

"How many Trump protestors does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesn't matter. Trump protestors won't change anything."

"I wanted to put an England flag in my garden... I wanted to put an England flag in my garden but wasn't sure if it would offend muslim extremists. So I wrote 'Allah is a twat' on it just to make sure."

"[woman on death row] ""Your last meal?"" - I don't care. You pick. ""Fish?"" - Gross no ""Steak?"" - No. Anything is fine tho. ""Pasta?"" - Ew carbs"

"No, YOUR stupid."

"What are some really stupid jokes? One I know is this: Spanish teacher: Kids, what is the ellos/ellas form of the verb sacar? Students: Sacan? Spanish teacher: SACAN DEEZ NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Every time i hear a mean joke about canadians, i go to the hospital right away and get my feelings checked. ...For free..."

"Why did Skrillex get fired from the antique shop? Because he d-d-d-d-dropped the vase. Stupid. I know."

"I like my women how I like my weather moist and unstable."