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Joke of the Day
"I hate bad jokes. They should be pun-ishable by law."
Next Joke
"If the shoe fits, wear it... Unless you found it near a bouncy castle, you creep."
"The Bible is Christianity's Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app"
"About to eat at the Cheesecake Factory/commit a hate crime against my butthole."
"If your left leg was thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I come visit you between the holidays?"
"What do you call an Asian prostitute? Chinese-y"
"Having sex with children is fucking tight."
"1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait"
"What's the difference between yogurt and semen? ~~Semen~~ Yogurt, dammit! I meant *yogurt* doesn't hit the back of your partner's throat at 30 MPH. \* I always mess up punchlines when I'm drunk!"
"Do her by the ocean. Beaches love crabs."