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Joke of the Day

"[Scientific Conference] Scientist 1: So science? Scientist 2: *nodding* Science."

"After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F."

"Did you hear about the discounts at Darth Maul? I heard they're going to cut the sales by half"

"I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane"

"What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day ? Turns over a new leaf !"

"The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won't need to adjust her driving."

"""Okay, but do you know HOW I pulled you over?"" -Cop's desperate attempt to show off"

"If the Discovery Channel's new show 'Naked And Afraid' isn't about Mormon honeymoons, I'm not interested."

"What do you get. . . If you crush a hundred rednecks to death in a car crushing machine? An erection."

"My Dyslexic Cat thinks she has "" P "" no. of lives."