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Joke of the Day
"Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer? He wanted to have webbed feet."
Next Joke
"Weird, started flirting in this bar and for some reason 4 guys just killed themselves."
"I need farmer jokes I'm doing a speech at the Christmas party and they are farmers....I want to make fun of them"
"How to live forever? Hire a project manager to plan your death."
"Wife: My mom is watching our kids for the night. Me: Oh, baby. Do you know what we can do? *falls asleep at 7 p.m.*"
"What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs? Methed Up"
"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away."
"What's the biggest difference between men and women? The phrase ""I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film."" is a good place to start."
"My views are my own, although they're heavily based on some stuff Jon Stewart said on TV last night, and the general vibe of the internet."
"I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women [FIXED] Turns out they're way harder to pick up than I thought."