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Joke of the Day
"A guy walks into a zoo that only had one animal in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
Next Joke
"My 10 year old: ""If nothing is faster than the speed of light, how did the darkness get there first."" Me: ""What?"""
"I'm so bored with life, I've decided to read the Oxford English Dictionary from start to finish. I'm past caring."
"My boss just fired me because I spent the past 45 minutes taking a crap. I don't see why he can't just clean it off his desk, and move on."
"What's the best way to turn a pussy into a dick? Give it a badge."
"Something touched my leg while in the ocean and apparently I can walk on water now"
"I remember when [person x] was just *this* big (hold hand at knee level)... Then as I got closer I realized it was a matter of perspective."
"Did you hear about the blind prostitute? Well, you got to hand it to her."
"The networks need to change the phrase ""Breaking News"" to ""Now What?"""
"What is a dog covered in poo called? A SHIT-szu. I thought of this due to the fact that my Shitszu came inside covered in mud."