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Joke of the Day

"nudist camp for intellectuals 2 people at a nudist camp for intellectuals, one says to the other ""have you read Marx?"" The 2nd say ""yes, because of these wicker chairs"""

"A blonde strolls into her new office job at 10:30 The manager comes up to her and says, ""you should have been here at nine o'clock,"" to which the blonde responds ""why what happened?"""

"Canadian whiskey is just whiskey that apologizes for your hangover in the morning"

"[leaving HS reunion w/ date] Aren't you going to ask why everybody was calling me 'smelly boy' tonight? ""Seemed pretty clear I thought"""

"[Catwoman's Lair] Robin: I hear someone. Batman: Lets's hide in this sandpit. {5 min later} R: This is a litter box isn't it? B: I think so."

"I hate it when people try to use big words when they clearly don't know their meaning. It makes them sound so gelatinous and isosceles."

"It's no wonder we've never met an alien, i'd have a hard time developing a space program if no one believed in me, too."

"What is stronger than Ronda Rousey? Her anti-depressants."

"My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him 'Don't be Sicily"

"My friend called me a pedophile today. I corrected him, told him I'm actually a hebephile. He said, ""you're just splitting hairs"" I said, ""now you see the difference""."