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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hypothalamus want to join a band? Because it had great circadian rhythms."

"A Scotsman invented the first condom. It was made out of a sheep's intestine. Not too long after, the British improved on it by first removing the intestine from the sheep."

"A midget, who was a self proclaimed psychic, escaped prison today. Now he is a small medium at large."

"You know times are tough when you are totally jealous of your friends shopping spree... at the dollar store!"

"What do you call a little Mexican? A paragraph. Because he's not quite an essay."

"What do you call a fast clothes maker? Taylor Swift! Made up by my nine year old :)"

"My wife asked me to hand her a tube of lipstick, but I mistakenly handed her a tube of Super Glue Now she won't talk to me."

"According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, ""neighborhood watch"" isn't what I thought it was"

"Q: What do the Amish call a jar full of honeybees? A: A vibrator."

"Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Anyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the border."