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Joke of the Day
"Ate raspberries for the first time in a while. I got retarted."
Next Joke
"""honey don't you think you're treating one of our kids unfairly?"" ""who? Tim, Felix or the fat one?"""
"Germanwings 'Knock Knock' joke. *Knock Knock* Who's there? *A Germanwings pilot* A Germanwings pilot who? **LUBITZ, LET ME IN GODDAMNIT, YOU'RE GONNA CRASH THE PLANE!!**"
"A roman walks into a bar... A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martini, the bartender gives him two and the Roman walks away happy."
"[Chased by cops on foot] *Turns corner and lays DVD of The Notebook on floor* *Cops get lost in Ryan Gosling's eyes* *Makes clean getaway*"
"[OC] Why did the mortgage broker go out of business? Because he lost interest."
"Pablo was a family man. That's why he had two of them."
"Did you guys see the score of the Egypt vs Ethiopia soccer match? Egypt 8 .. Ethiopia didn't"
"Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?"
"I just saw a guy with no legs. I told him all about my recent stubbed toe. I hope it made him feel better about the whole no legs thing."