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Joke of the Day

"Sunday is Easter, Hitler's birthday, the Columbine anniversary, and weed Christmas. Your move, greeting card section."

"Why do hurricanes have girl names? First they are all wild and wet, then they take your house."

"How to be depressed Step 1. Go to 1973 and sell 10% shares of apple for $800 Step 2. Realise those 10% is worth $43 billion nowadays."

"Why did the skeleton cross the road? to get to the body shop : )"

"Did you hear about the new tractor movie? I heard it has a good trailer."

"What do you call a Social Justice Warrior in a society of strippers? The thot police! ^^^^PleaseDon'tBeTooHardOnMe."

"The iPad 2 will be released on March 11th. Of course, as a celebrity, I'm already using my complimentary iPad 7. The screen touches ME!"

"What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust..."

"I do all my addition in my head. It's the thought that counts."

"Just smiled at a stranger. So how does this work, will I get a direct deposit in my account?"