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Joke of the Day

"A Termite Walks Into A Bar and Asks, ""Is the Bar Tender Here?"""

"How do you spot a meth - head in Wal-Mart... In the light - bulb isle with their cart turned upside down, fixing a squeaky wheel."

"Girls are like internet domain names... the ones I like are already taken."

"As a Brandon, I'm constantly at war with Brendans. Do not confuse them with my kind. They are shit demons. Slaying them is my birthright."

"Why should you not argue with a decimal? Because decimals always have a point."

"""Mommy mommy in school the kids call me shampoo"" ""Come on Johnson no more tears"""

"I don't have a girlfriend. I just know someone who would be very angry if she heard that."

"Whats the most dyslectic part of Asia? Croatia!"

"[on a date] me: what's your favorite book series about a big red dog? her: uhh Clifford, i guess me: wow we have a lot in common"

"[First date] ""So, do you have any pets?"" Yeah, I have a pet crow. He's white. ""You have an albino crow?"" He prefers the term cawcasian."