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Joke of the Day

"How do you get people to pirate an album? Release it on TIDAL"

"Why was the Dalai Lama not upset after he spilled spaghetti sauce? Because it happened in the *past*a."

"Why don't Episcopalians play chess? They don't know the difference between a bishop and a queen"

"what if grass screamed when you walked on it"

"If I worked for the tribune... ... do you think I'd make the papers?"

"Why do people in Afghanistan air dry after they shower? Because of the towel ban"

"My Muslim coworker brought a CD version of the Quran to work today. He got really pissed off when I asked if I could burn a copy."

"Kayne West Knocked Up Kim Kardashian No punchline needed."

"Why do all dads have huge dicks? Because the kids have tiny hands."

"You know who'd make a good hobbit? Elijah would."