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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a run-down bus stop and a big-breasted lobster? One is just a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean!"

"[aquaman origin story] *falls out of boat* help! im drowni- oh... no, im good, actually"

"If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless."

"*ring* Her: Hello, Sex Addict Hotline Me: Help please Her: Ok sir. Let's take some breaths. Deep. Slow. In and out Me: THIS ISN'T HELPING"

"Did you hear about the man who lost his left arm and his left leg? He was all right."

"What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice-cream? Sure, Bert!"

"Joke my brother told when he was little..... Why did the cannibal cross the road..... To get to the body shop......"

"What's the difference between going into a sewer system and the government buildings? They're both full of shit, but the government's got more assholes."

"Save the cheerleader, save Reddit. "

"Did you hear about the pessimist who hates sausage? They say he fears the wurst"