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Joke of the Day

"Women find me ugly till I tell them I make millions of dollars... What I don't mention is that I am talking about Zimbabwe dollars!"

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? You suck its dick."

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? (NSFW) I'll see you next month."

"I took my item up to the counter. ""I'd like to return this,"" I said, with a tear in my eye, ""It didn't work."" He said, ""I'm sorry. We can't do that with condoms."""

"My desires are... unconventional. (Hands you a phone and makes you call my boss and quit my job for me)"

"Bro, your girl is so basic bitch Her shoe size is 14"

"I used to work at Human Relations in the coal industry, but I got tired of all the miner details."

"I Like Long Walks on the Beach until the LSD wears off and it turns out I'm dragging a mannequin around a Wendy's parking lot"

"Its gone viral Bird flu - 45 million dead chickens and turkeys."

"How is the Quran like weed? Burning that shit will get you stoned."