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Joke of the Day

"Wanna hear a good joke? My sex life! Excuse me while I cry now.."

"Stupid funny One time Back when I use to be an auto mechanic I drove around in an Italian car. The car kept telling me to add oil but I never did and one day the car exploded killing every body."

"I bet Sherlock Holmes rocked the shit out of elementary school."

"I dig my own Grave. Adds Inter-ior designer to Resume."

"What is nine inches long and keeps a woman up screaming all night? Sudden Infant Death Syndrome"

"I'm quitting modelling, I need more job security so I'm going to become a princess."

"How well did the Mexican do for his class test? He got a borderline pass."

"This girl came up to me today and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. I was confused. I never met herbivore."

"*whispering to my newborn son* weed is tight. im siked for u to try it son. im so excited for you. i love you"

"*takes a picture of food for Instagram* Food: delete it"