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Joke of the Day

"Since Walking Dead isn't on I've hid pot from my stoner friends. As they amble around looking for it I'm shooting them with paint ball guns."

"I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic."

"Reasons people claim to be gay: 3% - are actually gay 97% - forgot to log out of facebook"

"Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas? They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal."

"Hot kraft singles in my pocket waiting to meet you."

"I've been thinking of getting into the warehousing business... I've heard it's blowing up in China"

"Why is the network engineer sad? Because his career is in bits."

"Don't act like you're serious about getting laid if your outfit is less than 70% leather."

"What do you call it when Batman skips Church? Christian Bale."

"*works out for 75 mins *eats an entire batch of cookie dough"