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Joke of the Day

"Why won't the pimp date any of his girls? Because he doesn't want to get involved with a cockworker."

"An untalented gymnast walks into a bar."

"What happened to the man who went to court for making deafening noises? He lost his hearing."

"I just wish my ex-wife could look down from Heaven and see me now. But no, she's still alive."

"Our children are our future. Unless they invent a method for time travel, then they're also our past."

"Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!"

"Sally sells seashells by the seashore. Her monopoly has left the seashore economy in shambles. 86% of hermit crabs are now homeless."

"[God creating wombats] Just roll that balloon in fur and let's call it a day."

"What do you get when you inject human DNA to a goat? A permanent ban from the petting zoo"

"I think it's fun that witches chose brooms to fly on, but if I were them, I'd fly on a rifle. This way when you land you have a rifle."