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Joke of the Day

"[hears wife approaching while I read son bedtime story] the prince hugged the dragon..[hears wife walk away] ok, basically a retweet is whe"

"Light beer... It's like.. Eating out your sister.. -it tastes the same but it's just not right!"

"What doesn't kill you isn't earning the money I paid."

"How do you make a black nervous? Take him to an auction."

"What do The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common? I see dead people."

"What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard"

"What's the difference between an Aboriginal and a park bench? ~~A park bench can support a a family~~ One you sit on and the other is a park bench."

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

"Whenever I'm feeling stressed I go to the house of mirrors... I find it's a really great place to reflect."

"I broke up with my girlfriend because I'm pretty religious I'm a Presbyterian, and she was Satan"