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Joke of the Day
"Alsation: How did you find the fleas? Beagle: I didn't! They found me!"
Next Joke
"They don't seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts. Sad."
"What does Charlie Sheen say when he's having sex with a Vietnamese Lady? Nguyenning!"
"My parents think im a virgin. My boss thinks Im an excellent employee. The government thinks Im an outstanding citizen. Where's my Oscar?"
"My girlfriend is a pornstar... She's going to be so pissed off when she finds out."
"How do al-Qaeda like their toast? Bean-laden"
"If Nefertiti owned a topless bar which served tea she could have marketed her business with t-shirts. You could call them 'Nefertiti's titties, tease, teas, and tees.' Edit: better grammar/phrasing."
"Burn victims never travel alone They always stick together"
"Dog Morpheus: Ok, Dog Neo. You take the grey pill, you wake up in your kennel. But if you take the GREY pill - I will show you the Matrix."
"son: I don't think he likes me wife: your dad just has a hard time showing affection me: [holding bag of doritos] GOD I LOVE DORITOS"