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Joke of the Day

"Hey Guinevere *knight flips up his visor* Hast thou considered my proposal? Because *unsheathes blade* I'm sword of a big deal."

"Why'd the Mexican cross the road? He took the chicken's job."

"What do you call an old barometer? Weathered."

"Adult films are lame. There's nothing about choosing insurance or retirement planning; it's all just a bunch of naked hugging."

"I just realized something about how I browse Reddit"

"Rihanna says, ""chains & whips excite me."" I doubt her ancestors felt the same way..."

"What did the worker ant say when the queen ant asked him to make mittens for all of the other ants? *Fuck.*"

"Turned on TV and heard people talking about grinding, pumping & hole filling. Sadly, it was just CNN."

"Being a newspaper boy combines two of my favorite things: legally throwing things at people's houses & keeping my fellow citizens informed"

"What did the groundhog's trainer tell him before the Olympics? Gopher gold."